Mid 20 early 30 crisis (Is there even such thing)

I never thought that this moment will come. No!! not getting married. It is the opposite. My best friend and my cousin going to get married this year. I'm the character in a sad pathethic drama where people will ask "when will be your turn? " Damn this people. Go Away!! Shoo!! even  when they're not saying anything they will look at me like i'm a weirdo or something. This would not be as bad if i'm not single.

I think i'm cursed. I never understood this before. Few of my guy friends actually told me about this exact problem they having. I found that guy feel this pressure even more than girls or maybe only guys feel comfortable enough to talk to me. Guess what?? You can't really understand what other's going through until you went through the same situation. I under estimate the feeling of loneliness and i'm sorry for not really being there for those who confided in me. Back up plan. Is it stupid to count on my back up plan now or does he even remember to be the back up plan. Whatever, I think he is the one who cursed me. Why?? he said this to me " If i'm not married when I'm thirty I know someone else who wont be to, that's you so i know i'm safe". my reply. "you suck, u don't even know when i'm going to get married". Hey, if these friends is almost thirty and they went through the same situation as i do, that's mean i'm still okay I guess (but they are guys, no biological clocks ticking)

I do believe in true love but I think too much, take a long time to make a decision...............

Wasn't Mine

Guess what you weren't mine at the first place. So, that means i didn't lose you, you were never mine.......

What if, everything happen differently
What if, you never met her
What if, you meet me first
What if, i just gave the chance you've asked for... What if...

Who am I kidding. I was your back up plan. She is never gone from your life. Even when you said I  am your future, she is still in your mind. How I wish you were more sensitive. I'd stayed away not because i don't have feeling for you. I was hoping what you ever said you felt for me was real that you will come for me. A girl take time to say yes because she dont ever want to get hurt again. I just wished you choose to leave her for good and move on. Instead, you chose to show it to my face bring her to our farewell dinner for what.. I was smiling, but the truth is my heart broke into pieces. It felt like you smashed me and i can't breathe... No farewell, no nothing.. Just a bad memory

P.s. What's with models??