Which hurts more??

Which hurts more??  being a secondhand love or knowing that someone you care and love have a change of heart.....

"Secondhand" Cassade Pope

I know that look, I know those eyes
She broke you down again
I'm not surprised

Every time you show up here again
Hands in your pocket, heart on your sleeve
Tell me all about what you need
Lean in close, but I'll take what I can get

Breathe you in, breathe you in like my first cigarette
Breathe you out, breathe you out, turning off the regret
Don't worry, baby, 'cause it's all my fault
I'll take the part that she doesn't want

Breathe you in, breathe you in, take the spark with the smoke
Breathe you out, breathe you out, feel the rush as I choke
I know it's worth it, baby, even if it's just
Secondhand, secondhand love

My heart has no pride standing here
Good thing I can take the tears
Sew you up as I'm tearing at the seams
It's so good, yeah, while it lasts

Go ahead and strike the match
Burn me down, make ashes out of me, yeah

Breathe you in, breathe you in like my first cigarette
Breathe you out, breathe you out, turning off the regret
Don't worry, baby, 'cause it's all my fault
I'll take the part that she doesn't want

Breathe you in, breathe you in, take the spark with the smoke
Breathe you out, breathe you out, feel the rush as I choke
I know it's worth it, baby, even if it's just
Secondhand, secondhand love

I know that you're no good for me
You make me weak as I can be
Bad habits; there is just no breaking free

Breathe you in, breathe you in like my first cigarette
Breathe you out, breathe you out, turning off the regret
Don't worry, baby, 'cause it's all my fault
I'll take the part that she doesn't want

Breathe you in, breathe you in, take the spark with the smoke
Breathe you out, breathe you out, feel the rush as I choke
I know it's worth it, baby, even if it's just
Secondhand, secondhand love
Secondhand, secondhand love
Secondhand, secondhand love

                :'(

Advice from a friend

Do you listen to you friends advice?? I've got few friends who gave great advice. Unfortunately for them, my advice doesn't seem so useful and some of my advice i'd like to take it back. I'm a really lousy advisor. Actually, that depends on what kind of advice i'm giving > <  But, I must admit I'm a really lousy relationship advisor. Sorry friends :p

Once, I asked my friend for advice abt a guy..then, she gave me a very cool advice and come to think of it, I once told her not to give a damn thought for a guy who had a crush on her. (but, he is kinda a jerk :p and was seeing a lot of girls at the same time) The cool advice she gave to me was to follow & trust my heart even if few friends might not agree with my decision.

My mistake was, I overthink and being so coward. I should have follow my heart :')

missed chances ??? :'(

Na-ah, life goes on...I kinda know its my fault. well, real life is not like reality tv. I choose to move forward and might ocassionally make a u-turn somewhere along the way.

Dear me, pls cheer up its almost Christmas

The curse of OVERTHINKING -_-

Hhmm...I really don't have any idea what to write about right now. My mind is just overcrowded with just too many stuff. The trip that I planned with my bff were about to be cancelled and it seems like i'm the only one trying to hard to make sure the plan is still on. Overexhausted for that part and I can't seem to figure out how guys think. I think i've been locked in FRIENDZONED. I deserve this I guess but it stil hurts nonetheless.

Damn!! it's almost Christmas and i'm still not in the holiday mood. Holiday is totally overrated. Arggghh!! I hate this. If only life is like a movie, surely there will be miracle for me this coming christmas or perhaps New Year. Anyway, life is life.

p.s. am i having a meltdown?? i feel so depressed right now...100% down

Follow your heart ????

What's a lie to you? do you consider a secret you kept from someone's a lie...well, a simple word as 'lie' could be so subjective. I think human mind make everything so complicated. Why can't everything be as simple as black & white.

People always say, "follow your heart". Well, would you consider acting on something without thinking it through first??? It is easier to say than to do it. No one wants to put their heart on their sleeves. How can I believe someone who says he can't stop thinking abt me but then goes out with another woman and made it a day to remember for the woman.Lucky her. It hurt even worst when she doesn't seem shy to brag abt your days together. I guess for you, I have no right to be mad or even to question your action. That's fine for me :'( I was just wishing n hoping that you would wait for my answer like I ask you to. How I wished i'd followed my heart, maybe thing would turn out differently. But then I refuse to be a repetitive fool.

~Pain of the heart is worse than the pain of the body. For it only takes a short time for the body to heal but, the heart can take a lifetime~

p.s. If i pray hard enough will everything turn out better. Will he turn back for me. I miss the time when u called when   u r drunk 

Few days till December!!!!!

There's just 2 more days till December, few weeks of holidays left. hhmm..I think holiday is so overrated. Am I the only one who got bored during the holiday? I wonder friends, asking themwhat they do on this holiday, seems like they are having fun in their hometown or rather in their kampung. That's the downside for someone who is living near the city. You got left behind while others went back to their kampung. While others are enjoying their holiday a dear friend of mind is busy working. Damn!!! I'm the only one who got nothing to do. The hell!! why am I writing about this boring subject.This post will look just like my essay during high school.

Okay, change of topic. Most of my ex-classmates are either getting marry or got married this school holiday.  I never thought I'd be in this position, to be the one who will be one of the last to get marry and be single at the age of 25. It's not that I like to be single, I'm just unlucky to be single at this age. Actually, i kinda loving it. Love the attention from guys but sometimes it gets a little annoying. 

In the other hand, I am loving the attention from my crush *blushing*. I'm such a hypocrite I'll admit it. I really miss listening to his voice. 

Me and my friends were having a conversation on the 'Law of Attraction' the other day and they said that the theory has been proven. I got a testimony myself that the law of attraction is true at least on my relationship with a dear one. Our mind is truly like a magnet. I know that what I'm writing doesn't make sense for some.

                 The Law of Attraction

I was thinking of writing about other things but my fingers keep on typing about my empty 

thought...damn you fingers ;p

Mixed feelings ~~~

i should be writing my report right now, but I just can't concentrate. My mind seems to be wandering about something else. Damn!!! what would you do if your crush told you he likes you?? surely, any girls will be overjoy. I do too. the weirdest thing is i'm speechless. I dont know what to say to him although i know and i'm sure that i feel the same way towards him. there's something holding me back and i'm not sure what it is. I stumble upon a saying while writing this. hopefully the answer will come in it's own time as it says in the saying.

"Be still and enter into the silence. Allow your mind to cease its restless thinking. Wait. Let the answer come in its time"

p.s : you've touch my heart and moved my soul the first time i heard you sang 

C.A.M.P.I.N.G

C-atastrophe

A-che

M-old

P-oop

I-nsect

N-umb

G-et me out of camp

All the worse thing went through my mind when i found out that it is compulsory for me to join the UB camping trip...sigh...i decided to stop whining and make the best out of it.

p.s. at least I get to hear sweet voices singing, still loving the voice and the guitar playing to

I Fall easily.....

DAMN!!!!
it might be just an innocent flirtation at the beginning, but being me i fall easily....well, how could you not be attracted to someone with good voice and a sweet talker : p
damn that singing competition, that was one of my fav song and he sings it, suprisingly he sings it well ^^
few months later, out of nowhere a text came saying hi :) and it was from him :)) luckily it was him n not some  weirdo
well, i guess thats normal for guys to text any girls and say hi...hhmm...

Dear me, pls keep your cool...

@ @
i'm writing this while listening to the lecturer rambling on something about literacy...well, this shows just how bored  i am in this class, not motivated at all.....sometimes i wonder did I made the right choices **** I know i want to be an educator but..... I <3 language in general, but I felt like there's something wrong with the system here. Actually, i was only referring to one class and that is the class i'm in now ( definitely not literacy).

Just think, do you believe that a language really belong to one religion only????  does english or latin belong to christian, does Malay belongs to Moslem...but, in some ways it might seems correct.hhmmm... just something to think about..isn't language universal??

For me, I believe that everyone have the right to learn, study, communicate and even love any language without practising the religion that uses the language the most. I love to listen & learn mandarin but im not chinese

more research on this i think...I can only imagine what my KJ will say if someone directed this question to her. She'll say that you are a confused human being and cannot think properly

could it get any worse than this??????

ku sangkakan panas berpanjangan, rupanya gerimis (actually hujan ribut) tiba jg...now i understand this saying, not only that, i also get to experience to be on top and bottom of the wheel of life in less than 5 month. Life is really a wheel huh...sigh...anyway, if that is the case, if life is really a wheel i'll be on top of the wheel again in 5 month (fingers cross) depending on how fast my wheel of life move. I wish i'll handle things better next time, missed my chance...hurt others feeling, pushed the person i care further away ( not my fault at all, if u really are busy u would not hve the time to go out with that @@^@#$2$@# piece of crap)

FRIENDZONE

FRIENDZONE  that was the new show on MTV called. The show was kinda hillarious (well for me) and heartbreaking sometimes :( ...pity the guy who was really hoping to get his best friend (a girl) to be his girlfriend and was turndown.  Well, while writing about friendzone...how i wish i never made any of my guy friends get hurts like that...i'm sorrrrryyy, really am sorry ...well for me, once a friend, always a friend. I wont destroy a good relationship by stepping out of friendzone ~ ~

Worst part....@^&^%&^$$%^##@#

I hate this part!!! Well, what human who doesn't have guilty conscience. I feel like i'm being a hypocrite for my decision. Arrghhh!!! I have to do what I have to do. Right now I don't care if I need to be a little selfish. I know this is for my future....Oh Jesus, I pray and I hope that everything will goes well

Here comes 2012!!!!

I know that it is a bit late already to be celebrating New Year..Well its been well over a month since 01/01/2012 but i've got the feeling that this is going to be a great year for me, finger crossed ^^.......2011 was fun, got a whole lot new friend who i will always care about..start off 2011 with no job, almost no hope in everything..lalalallal...that's all in the past, i just need to keep moving on...i feel stronger this year...alone or not, i know Jesus is with me along the way <3 <3 <3